Letters To My Sons: A Force To Be Reckoned With

This is the first letter in what is hopefully an ongoing series of letters for my sons (Caleb, Gideon, John, & Nate) and other young men.

What kind of man do you want to be? How do you want others to view you? How do you want your family, friends, and enemies to view you? I suppose these questions could be answered in a variety of ways, especially for the Christian. Godliness, love, virtue, strength, and a host of other descriptors come to mind. But a particular phrase keeps emerging that I believe can encapsulate all the above, a phrase the excites, motivates, and calls to something at the core of my being. I want to be a force to be reckoned with.

A force to be reckoned with. What does that even mean? Well, one could take that in a very prideful and humanistic sense. Some men might want power to rule over and dominate others. But this is just a twisted version of what I’m talking about. Let me try to summarize with a short definition, then we can explore the details. A force to be reckoned with is a godly, competent, wise, strong, and courageous man who lives exclusively for the glory of God and the good of others and is unaffected by the opinions of man.

A man who is more persuaded by the opinions of other men than his own moral convictions will never be respected. He is a slave to others, thinking what they want him to think, doing what they want him to do. He is not a force to be reckoned with, but a pawn to move around. A very real war exists in the world between good and evil, the kingdom of Christ and the kingdom of darkness. If you are to be a servant and soldier for your king, you must be strong in the Lord. The weapons of this war are spiritual (2 Cor. 10:4-5), and you must be skilled to withstand the enemy.

So who is this man to be reckoned with?

First, a godly man is a force to be reckoned with. He does not live for himself, but for God. His strength is in the Lord and his mission is God’s mission. He stands with the whole army of God at his back. A godly man trusts in God, particularly his sovereignty, power, and goodness. To the degree he lives for God, the less he will live for the opinions and demands of men. This trust in God results in obedience, peace, and fearless living. A godly man also has strong moral convictions that are the primary driver of his decisions.

Second, a competent man is a force to be reckoned with. The Oxford dictionary describes competence as having the necessary ability, knowledge, or skill to do something successfully. God has designed you to develop what is necessary to take dominion over the created order. It is your duty to grow in those skills so you increase your ability to rule upon the earth. The less competent a man is, the more he will depend on others for his life and wellbeing. When you have trained your mind and body, developed reason, strength, and skill, you will be able to accomplish much. With this competence comes freedom, confidence, and steadfastness.

Third, a wise man is a force to be reckoned with. Wisdom is the art of taking moral truths and applying them to specific situations. The book of Proverbs was written by a father to a son, and the entire theme of the book is wise living. Becoming a man means becoming wise. “Wisdom is the principle thing; therefore get wisdom” (Proverbs 4:7). Wisdom is gained by reading (the Bible specifically), experience, and learning from others. Most hardships, consequences, and tragedies experienced by young men result from a lack of wisdom. But a young man full of wisdom is a steady force for good in an uncertain world.

Fourth, a strong man is a force to be reckoned with. There are two areas of strength worth pursuing. First, be strong physically. God made men physically stronger than women and there is logic and wisdom in his design. You were designed to build, defend, and tame God’s creation for the sake of women and children, for the good of others and the glory of God. Increased physical strength makes you more capable in those areas. Second, be emotionally strong. Men are capable of great good, but also great evil. Unruly emotions in a man can have far greater consequences than unruly emotions in a woman. For instance, men commit nearly all violent crimes. There is a reason our prisons are filled with men and not women. Emotional strength means being able to endure and subdue emotions as necessary to always act in a virtuous manner.

Finally, a courageous man is a force to be reckoned with. Courage is not being unafraid, contrary to what many think. In fact, courage is being afraid but still willing to do what needs to be done. I have struggled often with courage, and fear has won the battle numerous times. To grow in courage one needs to practice it. Do hard things. Do things that scare you, things that could put you in harm’s way. Courage cannot develop in an easy life, free of hardship. It grows as we defeat fear in little ways on a regular basis. Could you get hurt? Yes. Could you fail? Yes. But press on anyway. When real courage is needed in life, men who are trained for battle will be ready to display it.

Go, my son, and become this man. The world needs you.